This one hit very hard. I grew up in a confusing family that got more confusing when my parents divorced. My mother was actually crazy, cruel and violent. My father was far away . I had to figure a lot of things out for myself, like all of GenX My …
from Sweetest Chill/Siouxsie and the Banshees. I feel guilty when I write about anything that isn’t Fuck Ice or Fuck Trump or anything that doesn’t contribute to getting the rancid orange boot off our necks. I have started this several times and given up. What is going on in my …
When I was 16, many thousands of years ago, I changed my name in my head and with any new people I met to Jyllian/Jyll from Jill. I don’t recall how I told my friends or when they started using it. Some still call me Jyll. I did this change …
A woman of seven and twenty,said Marianne, after pausing a moment, can never hope to feel or inspire affection again.”
~~Jane Austen
With this last birthday the thought I’d been shoving to the very back of my mind became too large to ignore. And it is interesting how it expressed itself. I still mourn the original triumvirate: Hotspur, Mr. Newguise and Miss Ninny. And the following, but no lest majestic quartet: Zachary, …
The Lion and the Cobra by Sinéad O’Conner is being played on my turntable right now. It seems fitting. My second copy, I wore one out the very year it came out. The year that my life imploded, well one of the times. I was young and painfully naive. It …
verb self-med· i· cate ?self-?me-di-?k?t self-medicated; self-medicating; self-medicates 1 transitive : to treat (something) by self-medication people who attempt to self-medicate depression 2 intransitive : to treat oneself by self-medication I ran out of quotes for the time being so now I’m trying definitions. It started with reading. I always snarked when I heard someone say their self medicating …
a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. What happens when the song comes up on Spotify. 10th grade- Blue Öyster Cult Tenderloin and Vivaldi’s winter. I wasn’t ready to have sex yet, but I wanted to. He was beautiful. I still kind of regret …
Does this shit ever end? Do we just keep crossing the identity bridge over and over-adjusting and readjusting, putting on and taking off all the hats?
makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. ~Herman Hesse It’s been, as they say, a journey. And I’m standing in the doorway, crossing from what was to what is becoming. Our daughter moved into her first apartment in September. It was a chaotic move, as these things can …
Well then, it’s been so long I don’t recognize how posts are working on this newest iteration of wordpress. I really shouldn’t drop this on the floor like I have, over and over and over the last few years. I shouldn’t because … Well, why shouldn’t I? Honestly, it isn’t …
Such a perfect evening. Oh yes. I haven’t been here a lot. I thought perhaps it was depression. Turns out it was anemia. Once I started working on that, things got much better. I have refinished a table and put a lot of shit where it goes. I went out …
I don’t know why I can’t do things I enjoy. They have to have a purpose (like putting things away–I enjoy that AND it achieves something necessary). Not just BE the purpose.
“There is always time for another last minute†― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather It wasn’t the best news, but we aren’t giving up. And it never gets easier. Mr. Teatime was named for a character in the Pratchett book Hogfather. Mr. Teatime, when he was a kitten was a tiny little …
