The end of the chapter but not the book

aprilmoon4_3

(April Moon 15, day 1)This is a particularly difficult time for me/for our family  right now. We have been packing and fixing and painting to move from our house of nearly 10 years.

There are some personal things as well I’m just not fully able to talk about yet.

This is the chapter ending. This is the end of my/our time in Fayetteville.

We’ll visit, but probably not too often to be honest.

One day J walked in and said…”What would you think about moving to Oregon?” And I said suddenly “yes, I think we probably should.”

Truth be known I’d been feeling like it might be time to leave for awhile. The town kept growing smaller and smaller around me, even as it actually grew.

And the estrangement from my family in the same town is not a comfortable thing.

And the Bean is aging out of her very great school (The New School)

And he asked the question about moving and I agreed and not too long after I started packing books.

It’s a process. A long emotional process. The house is listed now and devoid of most personality.

It has to stay clean all the time. That is tough. There was some deferred  maintenance and painting that needed to be done, which we did and we are enjoying it for a bit of time.

Now I am free to….well when we move I think I won’t be so worried about letting my freak flag fly. It’s not a problem for some folks here but it always has been for me. I never unclenched about that.

Like I did in SF or even in Chicago (though not in Barrington, whoa but was Barrington a mistake).

I don’t think I ever got to be fully me here. Many people can, and NWA can be a great place, just  not for me.  But the friends I’ve had here both before and again, I will cherish always.

The chapter is coming to a close, but we’re only 3/4 through the book. I think.

 

 

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