Short Sharp Shock

aprilmoon_day9 April Moon Day 9

Well that’s interesting.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in the 90s.

When I don’t have more than normal stress I can manage pretty well. Phones ringing can still make me jump. I’m not good with sudden sharp noises but when things are good my heart doesn’t continue to pound for an hour or more afterwards.

But right now, a car pulling up, a text message sound, even a phone call can require me to count my breaths and sometimes I need more help than that.

I doubt I’ll ever be good with sharp sounds or yelling. I had a job not too long ago where there was a lot of yelling–in an office setting too. That was extremely difficult.

I’m working through it. I think when we are through this move and settled in to our new state it will become easier. I was told I’d need to accept the fact that some of this would never go away–too many shocks to my system when I was young, too much cortisol for too long. But  that doesn’t have to be a sentence to hide away from everything. Just to remember to take quiet in liberal doses.

But I’m glad, so glad I don’t have to  hear square heels hitting hard floors and a click in the knee ever again.

2 Comments

  1. Cortisol is a funny old thing for the modern woman, don’t you think? must have been so useful back when we were all eating paleo… but it wreaks so much havoc on our bodies and souls these days.
    Props to you for breathing your way through. x

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