Not What Should be, What Is

clothes purge
Clothes purge

We are going through every single thing that has come into our possession, over the years of our daughter’s life, our married life and what we carried with us into that partnership.

All along I’ve been pretty good at going through general things and tossing out what wasn’t working or grown out of but the last few years, as we’ve dealt with health issues, bullying and other difficulties it’s gotten harder to let go of some things.

And then came the decision to move. And with that a chance to let go of things that no longer serve, help, contribute to happiness and comfort. For all of us. Not just things, but also situations and some relationships.

This  bit wasn’t easy to do, because I have kept clothes that were pretty but I couldn’t wear for awhile now. The symbolism was there, but I couldn’t see it until I started letting go. I’m a fierce bargain hunter and like finding nice things inexpensively. I want to look good, but not at expense.  I’ve also been up and down the scale because of illness and injury the last five years. And sadness too. Letting go of some of these clothes feels a bit like failure, but also maybe like I don’t have to keep all the reminders of where I’m not and instead be where I am. I used to only get rid of the clothes that had holes or were obviously worn out. Today I collected nice things to give to my friends that will benefit them (hopefully)and stop hurting me. I also gave away the clothes that allowed me to blend in, to become background.

I need the room to be who I am.