Lists like prayers

Reverb Day 1

Oh I never managed to do August moon. I wanted to, but there were some crazy things going on then. Serious jaw

tattoo of to do on arm
Flickr creative Commons attribution license Rob and Stephanie Levy

pain–like I hadn’t ever experienced before that made me miss work and actually cry for days. And I couldn’t take Ibuprophen at night because of another medication I was taking.  And house showings, many. And a summer cold and Em starting school. Some days it seems like too much and I get emotional narcolepsy. There’s always tomorrow, right?

That sudden stop has been happening a lot. There’s still movement but not lots of creative movement. Just the momentum of cleaning and packing and purging. Many of my outlets are packed away. I can’t make memory boxes or paint. I did get some coloring books and nice pencils months and months ago but somehow I just haven’t been able.I feel like I haven’t had much to say the last many months. I think because I’m in between here and there, now and then.

My lists are nearly all prayers to move. What must be cleaned each day so that we can show with 1-2 hours notice. What might need to be fixed or changed. What I can get at the grocery store that won’t create too strong a smell if there is a showing the next day.

And the lists of Em. What days her voice lesson are on, her cross country, her choir. When she needs to go to the doctor, the orthodontist and get new glasses. So those are prayers that she has as normal a time as possible in this abnormal time of waiting.

I think there is also a list in the back of my head of the things that have gone wrong. The things I am not doing well enough. There is also the list of what our new house will be like when we sell this one. I dream, maybe like a prayer about that.