Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the sea; they live in one another still. – William Penn

Dear R;

I’m sorry I got so busy with school these last few weeks that I wasn’t a better friend. It was such a big change for us that I had trouble keeping track of everyone and what they needed and what I wanted to give them. I hope the food I made you over the Spring and Summer helped a little bit and made things easier. I really wish I could have seen you more often, but I know you were really sick and it bothered you to have people see you.

I hope you know how much we loved you. You are an amazing man. You turned your life completely around. I’ve never met a gentler or kinder soul in my life. You were so sweet with Em and she loved seeing you every time you came over. I don’t know how we are going to tell her that her Uncle R isn’t coming back, I don’t know. I don’t know how to tell myself.

You were really there for my mother. If it weren’t for you her house would have fallen down around her ears. I think ours would have too, you could fix anything, everything and I think you did. You and your brother did more for Carl than anyone and helped my mother survive his loss. You have just always been there, a gentle quiet presence helping out wherever you could. There is so much more to say about all you did, but that always embarrassed you. But you really did so much for them, they were lucky to have you and know you, so very very lucky. Did I tell you all of this? I think I did, I hope I did. We talked about so many things these last few months. Sometimes just the weather, sometimes more important stuff. I keep wishing we had more time, wishing I could cook you one more Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m glad I got to talk to you when you were able to talk for awhile. Was that only two weeks ago? Sometimes time goes so slow and then it starts going too fast. I know I’m not going to meet anyone like you again R.

I am a better person for knowing you. I hope I can be more like you and I’ll try. If there is a heaven, I know you’ve got some cats there with you now, check on mine for me will you.

I have to stop now, I need to cry and miss you some more. Take care of yourself would you? We all miss you.

Your friend

J