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You are the Music While the Music Lasts
Category: Angst
 

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Those things we said

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“Women and fiction remain, so far as I am concerned, unsolved problems.” ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own
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Category: Angst

Home Archive for category "Angst"
Neither lost nor found

Neither lost nor found

Jyllian M June 2, 2019 Age / Angst / Daily blather / EugeneOne Comment

Well then, it’s been so long I don’t recognize how posts are working on this newest iteration of wordpress. I really shouldn’t drop this on the floor like I have, over and over and over the last few years. I shouldn’t because … Well, why shouldn’t I? Honestly, it isn’t …

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It’s dark and I’m new here

Jyllian M August 18, 2017 Age / Angst / Eugene

Such a perfect evening. Oh yes. I haven’t been here a lot. I thought perhaps it was depression. Turns out it was anemia. Once I started working on that, things got much better. I have refinished a table and put a lot of shit where it goes. I went out …

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Walking Slowly Forward

Walking Slowly Forward

Jyllian M April 13, 2017 Age / Angst / writing

I don’t know why I can’t do things I enjoy. They have to have a purpose (like putting things away–I enjoy that AND it achieves something necessary). Not just BE the purpose.

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Not this or that, somewhere in between

Not this or that, somewhere in between

Jyllian M February 18, 2017 Age / Angst / Current Events / Eugene / family / Fayetteville / The Bean

Every time I think I’m going to give up with this long long long standing blog, I come back. This is a long one, hold on. Will it click this time, again? I don’t know. The last year and a half has been, well, large.  Purging a lot. A LOT. …

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Warming, as if in Spring

Warming, as if in Spring

Jyllian M October 28, 2016 Angst / Eugene / family / Fayetteville / The Bean

Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death.
~R. D. Laing

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Unweaving

Unweaving

Jyllian M December 6, 2015 Angst / Blogging Challenges / Ghosts / Reverb154 Comments

Reverb Day 6 Looking at the thoughts and patterns that may be holding you back from living the life you want, trace back through the generations of your family and see if your beliefs originated generations ago. In 2016, how can you bring healing to these patterns of thought that …

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That’s the way it goes, it goes that way

That’s the way it goes, it goes that way

Jyllian M November 12, 2015 Angst / Cats / Everything old is new again / Fayetteville / Moving

But this is the way it goes….work, clean,Bean,cats,netflix, sleep.

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It’s raining again

It’s raining again

Jyllian M July 21, 2015 Angst / Daily blather

The Scientist Come up to meet you Tell you I’m sorry You don’t know how lovely you are I had to find you Tell you I need you Tell you I set you apart Tell me your secrets And ask me your questions Oh let’s go back to the start …

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A Gift from the Universe

A Gift from the Universe

Jyllian M July 9, 2015 Age / Angst / family / Fayetteville

I was given one today. As we try to/prepare to/hope to move to Oregon (when this house sells) I’ve had things on my mind that give me pause. I am estranged from my family.  This has happened several times through out my life. I’m not sure this one will be …

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Can’t talk about it

Can’t talk about it

Jyllian M June 11, 2015 Age / Angst / family / Fayetteville / House / regret

Sometimes you just let someone else’s music speak for you.  (Thank you Abney Park)     Why do the things we love Torture us more than the things The things we can do without? I can’t do without The things that you do to me But why d’you do the …

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No Dissension Allowed

No Dissension Allowed

Jyllian M February 24, 2015 Age / Angst / Daily blatherOne Comment

When did we stop being able to disagree about things, ideas, beliefs and start being offended, angry, diminishing ? When did the way *I* see things become the only right way? Is this a tendency the internet made much much worse or something new? I guess people of a certain …

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Not What Should be, What Is

Not What Should be, What Is

Jyllian M November 9, 2014 Age / Angst / Daily blather

We are going through every single thing that has come into our possession, over the years of our daughter’s life, our married life and what we carried with us into that partnership. All along I’ve been pretty good at going through general things and tossing out what wasn’t working or …

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Almost but Never Babies

Almost but Never Babies

Jyllian M October 16, 2014 Angst / Everything old is new again / House / miscarriage / Moving

I have had a hard time letting go of some of my daughter’s things from her baby and toddlerhood. I’ve kept so much –filed away school papers, accident reports from Montessori and Community PreSchool, little scribbles that look kind of like happy dust mites. It’s been so very hard to look …

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Today’s post brought to you by the letters E, M and O

Today’s post brought to you by the letters E, M and O

Jyllian M September 30, 2014 Angst / Daily blather / Moving / regret4 Comments

Oh the mope. I am freaked about moving. So much to do and the house is so messy. And the mounds of things to do look insurmountable. I know the solution is just to keep moving forward a bit at a time. It’s been slowed by that flu turning into …

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Ransome Notes

Ransome Notes

Jyllian M September 2, 2014 Angst / bite me / Daily blather / Ghosts

I wish I felt like I could say what I need to say. I’m working up to it. It has been an enlightening last year. And the next two are going to be even more interesting.     Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth. Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs. …

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Your cycle continues, mine does not.

Your cycle continues, mine does not.

Jyllian M June 30, 2014 Angst / Daily blather / regretOne Comment

What you don’t know? There is *so* much you don’t know. It is all about the money. Every bit of this is about your money. How sad. How…ugly. And now you have engineered a repeat of what happened those many years ago, when you stood at that woman’s grave. It’s …

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That glib and oily art

That glib and oily art

Jyllian M June 25, 2014 Age / Angst / Daily blather / family

King of France. This is most strange, That she that even but now was your best object, The argument of your praise, balm of your age, Most best, most dearest, should in this trice of time {235} Commit a thing so monstrous to dismantle So many folds of favour. Sure …

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It was an ugly thing that happened

Jyllian M June 21, 2014 Angst / family

“My eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest”
~~Youth by Daughter

And today she finally broke it into so many pieces it can’t be put back together again.

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Edgar Allan Poe

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

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