Your shadow at morning striding behind you /Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;/I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

~T.S. Eliot from The Wasteland Again and still it is hard to find the desire to say the things I used to say here without much effort. I have always written easily and frequently, until about December of last year. A horrid thing happened and simultaneously my desire to write …

As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport

Once again I’ll thank you for the pokes and proddings to catch up, to write more. We’ve had an eventful last several weeks, both good and bad. The bad is that my stepfather has returned to the hospital then been moved back to the skilled nursing facility. He won’t be …

Henry James: Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.

So, the Bean has recovered from her weird fever, which according to her teacher has been going around. Nothing else–no sniffles, no coughing just intermittent bouts of high fever forcing you to throw (gently place) your child into a lukewarm bathtub whilst hiding your hyperventilation. I have to consciously do …

Family?

I hadn’t seen her since we were children. Almost 30 years. She’s gray now and a mom. I’m an unnatural red and a mom. There was the common ground we never had as kids. We are the same age and of course couldn’t be friends. Not with our parents dating …

Like needles

I haven’t had much to say. It seems it has all been said before or said better. I’m not the first woman to miscarry. It isn’t the third or fourth or 6th time, it’s the first. Actually the third, but the one when I was 20 –I didn’t know what …

I can’t talk

That’s what it feels like. I note distinct differences in how people communicate in the various places I’ve lived. In San Francisco, everything was exagerrated, overstated and intense. It wasn’t just a “bad date,” it was a “horrific, mind numbing excursion into the underbelly of boredom.” It wasn’t a ” …

When worlds collide

I’m sitting here twitching with too much coffee. The coffee we still get sent from Freed’s in San Francisco. Wearing perfume I have sent from another part of California (www. Blackphoenixalchemylab.com) and searching online for a cool dress for the Bean at a shop in New York, while working on …