Beginning at the End

Oh somewhere in me I had an epic goodbye 2013 post, you sucked. Can’t wait to see you leave..etc etc.

But we have girls spending the night and I’ve been snoozing with cats on the couch, so my fur is just not up.

I had a list of resolutions about swimming (will start next week, I suspect there will be noticeable change by March, I hope).

About eating better (I have the time now to cook, and the energy).

About taking care of J (moreso and better than I have, always better, because he deserves it and I want him to be around until he’s 100).

About being more present for Em, which is already happening.

About letting go of things and people that no longer work for me OR for them for that matter. Which is Bepeashappening. 

About learning and learning even more on top of that to change the trajectory of my work. I never want to feel trapped again—not like that.

About saying yes more often to experiences—which is already happening. 

About being grateful. We are lucky to have this little family. We are lucky about many things. Today I feel grateful that J and I keep weathering our storms.  

Every year for the last few years I’ve tried to start off in a good frame of mind—excited, things are going to be good. They did not turn out so well in significant ways from miscarriages to difficult jobs—here’s hoping this year is better. 

And about writing here again with more regularity. I miss this, it helps.

      I’m considering dropping my quote as title..maybe just adding it in here..It can be longer that way. And I’m             running out of short quotes I think will work. I would get an idea of what I sort of remembered and then spend forever tracking it down, which may have made the writing more difficult…Like the name of this entry. I knew it was from Eliot (because he is one of my favorites) and probably either The Dry Salvages or Little Gidding)So I had to re read some of the Four Quartets, not a problem of course . But…I decided to write then find the actual quote which made the writing, basic as it was this time, happen quicker.

As for the epic goodbye to 2013? Here is the whimper not the bang. I’m too tired. I don’t think I care anymore. It’s been horrid—go away quickly and never darken my towels again!

 

From Little Gidding by T.S. Eliot

V

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make and end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from. And every phrase
And sentence that is right (where every word is at home,
Taking its place to support the others,
The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
An easy commerce of the old and the new,
The common word exact without vulgarity,
The formal word precise but not pedantic,
The complete consort dancing together)
Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,
Every poem an epitaph. And any action
Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea’s throat
Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start.
We die with the dying:
See, they depart, and we go with them.
We are born with the dead:
See, they return, and bring us with them.

4 Comments

  1. Gary Dokter

    Christopher Hitchens has died. 2011.
    “Arguably”, is a collection of his essays.
    “Arguably”, is shaped like a book.
    Begin reading his sentences.
    You will feel smarter and find new pathways.
    Mindfully. Arguably. Sustainably.
    Incontrovertibly Yours, GII

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