A New Phobia for You: Kainotophobia is K

Kainotophobia~Fear of Change

Kainolophobia~Fear of Novelty

Kainophobia~ Fear of Anything New

 

Fear of Change. We like our habits. We like predictability. We like things the way they were, not the way they are now or how they could be.

I get it. Change is hard. Personally, as someone who has changed jobs in the last few months, moved across the country no less than three times, changed apartments and schools more times than I care

to think about…yeah. It’s hard.

Why are YOU scared of change?

Is it because you fear failing? I  have fallen on my face so many times. I thought I wanted to be a high school teacher and got halfway through before I realized just how wrong that would be. I think I’m still a good teacher, I just don’t belong teaching English the way it has to be taught now. With that teaching to the test. With that yearly flavor of educational approach. With the crazy government regulations that hinder more than they help.

Splat.

I’ve fallen in love, lived with someone and broken up

I’ve bought the wrong car, dyed my hair the wrong color, had the wrong friends, moved to the wrong state, chosen the wrong job

I’ve had miscarriages…

All failures? Perhaps or maybe just life. Maybe experiences that make me who I am.

Why be scared of change? What happens if nothing ever happens? Who are you then?

 

Criticism? Who can criticize you for trying? Someone meaningful? Is it your husband? wife? friends? co workers?

Wouldn’t they listen to why you thought the change was needed? Or would they not?

Why not?

And why is it so hard to be criticized? Do THEY know better than YOU do?

Aren’t you able to stand up to what they have to say? And what if you are wrong? Is that so horrifying? If you are you change course, or correct what you did or thought.

I firmly believe that if you aren’t ever wrong–you aren’t even trying.

There are people out there who think I’m a total shit. Who  have nothing but bad things to say about me. And I’m actually at the point that that cracks me up now. Because they are wrong. I brought

change all down around them and they hated it and they fought it and it happened anyway. And they are still pissed and I’m laughing.

 

Fear of conflict?

I have it. I don’t like it. In fact it makes me sick to my stomach. That doesn’t mean I avoid it.

I don’t go in search of conflict, but if I check with myself and I feel strongly about something–say “we should move out of Illinois it’s making us miserable” Then I’m willing to take the risk that the can of worms opened will have a prize hidden under that squirmy mess.

And it did. We moved somewhere we are both happier. Is it perfect? No but it is is much better. And it is right for now.

I get a horrid feeling in my stomach when I have to confront someone or something that I don’t want to. Like leaving someone who treats me badly or someone who treats me well but doesn’t want the same things I want.

And the pain and fear …immense. Mind blowing. Horrifying. And I came out the other side. You will to.

 

I’m in a morass of kaintophobia right now. But I’m not staying there.

What about you?  What do you need to change? Where does your fear come from?

Changebyzoepittman

 

5 Comments

  1. Mine is mainly the failure aspect. Always wanting so desperately to be perfect. If I can’t be perfect, better to not even try than try and not measure up. Something I need to learn to get over, for sure.

    Good luck with the rest of the challenge!

    • Jyllian M Jyllian M

      Thanks for the comment Melonie! The fear of failure is a rough one for me too. I have to take my inspiration from kids. Look at how many times they fall over before they actually walk? How many new things they have to face every single day. And what a big adventure it all is. It isn’t a failure–it’s just one way NOT to do something!

  2. Love this. I’m going through a lot of change at work with the merger. It’s going to be interesting to see how this all plays out. But I do have a plan and I’m working on that as a back up.

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