A fight for breath, an ache for home

aprilmoon_day13April Moon, Day 13

Oh so many things…
I wonder if I will ever be done with this moving process. I started early to make it easier on every one and myself–just to do a little each day. But that means I’ve been working on this for 8 months.That’s a long time.

I wonder if I will ever stop jumping each time the phone rings or a car door closes.

I wonder if I will ever feel fully at home anywhere. I think I did for quite a while in SF. And again here in Fayetteville– for a little bit –the first few years. Is it a fleeting feeling? Can it last?

It has to last because this will be the last state I move to. It has to be.

I wonder if I will ever get my energy back. It’s been gone for so long. I am working to get it back but so far not yet.

I wonder if I will ever

if I will ever

get to the top of my breath, easily and without fighting for it.

7 Comments

    • Jyllian M Jyllian M

      it has to end at some point right? I’m thinking by this time next year it should be all finished, moving, renting and finding a new house to call home.

  1. Christine

    This might sound kind of silly, but if I start to feel The Dread when my phone rings, I change the ringtones. It actually helps! Usually because I’ve come to associate a ringtone with bad times.

    I’ve done this after leaving bad jobs, and I did it after we moved Mom to assisted living.

    • Jyllian M Jyllian M

      That is a really great idea Christine thank you. I seriously cannot wait to have you visit. Or to visit you. It’s been too long and you’ve always been one of those special folk to me.

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