Tag: <span>angst</span>

Everything has been figured out

except how to live–Sartre Loooong time no write. First a dead mother and a last ever visit with the sister. Then a pandemic. Then a burnout. Then a job change. Then catching a bad Covid. Then …we lost Bartleby at 18 to kidney disease, cancer and age. He was just …

Your cycle continues, mine does not.

What you don’t know? There is *so* much you don’t know. It is all about the money. Every bit of this is about your money. How sad. How…ugly. And now you have engineered a repeat of what happened those many years ago, when you stood at that woman’s grave. It’s …

Between Grief and High Delight

The answer is obvious and the question not fully known. The path is clear and trapped with brambles. The cup filled with comfort and regret.   It seems like one decision after another keeps having to be made. And by that I mean by me. Me, making decisions. I’ve learned …

We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full. Marcel Proust

I guess my word for 2013 would be …tribulation? adversity? The prompt for this first day of Reverb13 is …Where did you start 2013? Wow. It’s pretty horrible, but then 2013 has been a pretty horrible year. I can say some things are better. Em’s  school is SO much better. …

I was thinking of how you broke my heart

We took a walk.     The things you told me were like the things I told you.   But then that gift and truth for me were not the same not for you. Did you lie because of love or expediency?   What was your small lie lived forever …

And Memories Fade

Sometimes there are moments there are songs. Things that make you feel  something. And  you hear a song. It’s odd how much that song encapsulates everything that you were and everything that you are in your secret heart. I got together with two friends that hadn’t seen each other in …

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of potential — for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.” Kierkegaard

OH damn. Damn damn damn.  This is the wish. I wish I felt like I did during college or grad school, or perhaps even my first job, when I just knew I was marking time until it got good. And it did, get good that is.  I had some amazing …

So let it be written

Well I did it. Finished one thing   And quit the M.A.T. I started off this month joking, somewhat. kind of about ‘seeing how many times I wanted to quit.” Since I felt like the program was just too much. I didn’t understand how you could give everything the school …

just a little something

for my classroom management course.Sigh. I did some cool things, had some great ideas. http://mrsmartini.weebly.com/ Also trying scribefire for this post. And considering deleting zotero since I don’t need it anymore. That would have been a somewhat interesting thesis if it hadn’t been the craziest way to put one together …

Nostalgia

Sad, all the work I put into the M.A.T. program. It is good to have this though. I did this before all the yuck started. You know what’s funny? I started doing nablopomo this year, and said offhandedly…”I just want to see how many times I want to quit.” Huh. …