Monthly Archives: February 2007

That it was possible to be this angry.

I went to read at the Bean’s school today. It was wonderful. It is something that makes me so happy I feel all the dark places inside fill up for just a little while. Afterwards the kids all gave me big hugs in a huge pile on and then individually. It was the best I’ve felt since January 25th. I’m… (more…)

I wonder when I’ll stop feeling sad, scared and hopeless. It needs to be soon.

Friedrich Nietzsche: Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man. Today was difficult. The followup at Parkhill to give voice to our bad treatment. That doctor was cruel and when it was outlined on paper, it was appalling. Maybe this will keep something similar from happening to another woman. Someone who couldn’t speak up for… (more…)

In an effort to get caught up on all the things sweet J couldn’t do while I was,well immobile? Catatonic? I went to the post office and did some grocery/sundry shopping. Post office. Pregnant woman Grocery? Pregnant woman screaming at her kids. Slapping them. Other place? Even more pregnant women, one extremely unwashed and possibly inebriated. I’m so angry I… (more…)

This is long,sad and morbid — perhaps too much, please just skip over if my situation is wearing on you or if you think I need to get over it and get on with it. It may not seem like a lot, things you do every day, have to do every day. But it is a lot. I’m going to… (more…)