Category Archives: miscarriage

Drab dribs

I find myself getting the urge to just post “Hello, I’m still here and this is a post.” But I won’t. Exactly. I’m trying to reschedule the little happy hour thing we were going to do but canceled because of J’s mom’s injury. Only 6 more sleeps, as the Bean says, and he’ll be home. I got a new CD/mp3… (more…)

Vulnerant omnes, ultima necat.

What happens after? I recall wondering if, when you were dying, if you knew you were dying, or if some kind of benevolent mental paralysis set in and held you in a golden place as you took your last breath. In the moment of death,were you still there or already gone–was it like a blink or a sigh? The difference… (more…)

Deja Vu

This is really quite unsettling. James has a migraine, as he did last year. The Bean is sick, as she was last year. I am threatening a cold. Just as last year. I host Fangsgiving, just as last year. A year ago, right around this time I got pregnant. Then lost it right after Christmas. I didn’t find out until… (more…)

Panzerkunst

That’s what James calls mittelschmerz. Of which I have a bad case today. And it’s a mixed blessing, this pain in my right side. At least I know something is going on. That is a good sign. But it also scares me and forces our hand. We do want another child, but we’re so scared to go through what we’ve… (more…)

October 15

Today is pregnancy and infant loss rememberence day. http://www.october15th.com/ Hey C, I’m thinking of you. And I’m thinking of what could have been for both our families. Technorati : miscarriage, pregnancy

Once a dream, a child

I didn’t write on the day or after. I did hear from a good friend (I won’t link her here unless she says ok, that pesky secondary infertility can well, suck)around about the date. No one else remembered except for her. Thak you C. Thank you. That’s more than I did for you, and I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshat… (more…)

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  • You are the Music While the Music Lasts