And here comes the buckshot entry. By that I mean all over the place and watch out what it hits.
Work has been rough. I hope it is getting better. It really has to get better. I’m lucky I have a great boss, great teachers, great principals. And I feel really lucky that I’m finally getting to see how what I do actually does help—and sometimes really fires up the desire to learn in kids .
I have discovered a Potassium/Magnesium/Vitamin D deficiency that has been making my life hell. Really really horrible. I’ve had sustained anxiety for a few months now. Hear palpitations that actually hurt at times. I’ve had insomnia, panic attacks and other assorted weirdness. And even with running into walls at work –well it was never bad enough to warrant all the symptoms. Yes I asked about it at the doctor. That was when I had pneumonia though. And yes I’m going back, I just have to find a new doctor because mine isn’t practicing anymore.
So I experimented after talking with my friend Amanda who is on a similar path (well she’s way out in front and I’m following her lead) and reading other blogs like Primal Girl in a Modern World and the forums at Marks Daily Apple and on and on…and it all came together. So I had some yams, ate a banana and took my vitamins and —no panic for the first time in months. When I don’t do that it comes roaring back. So I need more veggies and I’ve got to get some magnesium/calcium citrate and I expect things will improve vastly. We’ve cut out all grains and haven’t been as hardcore about the veg as we need to obviously—so lacking in magnesium and potassium.
Maybe then I’ll start feeling like I can lift then. I miss that. I like how it feels. I’m ready to try going for family walks too, but where is the time?
I’m selling all my heeled shoes and boots on ebay. I admit I’ll never be able to walk in those again.
We had the Bean’s skating party. I have to say I’m relieved it is the last ‘big’ kid party until she’s 16. I never got the hang of getting invitations home with the kids(when is too early? inserts or not?) figuring out how much stuff to get (cake, gift bags etc) when you never know how many kids are going to show up. How not to worry—and I shouldn’t . The Bean is well liked and has a great gang of girls she is close with. It also doesn’t help that her birthday is right in the middle of the time of year when end of year performances, meets, the race for the cure, the school 5k and on on on…it’s hard to find a weekend that isn’t full already. From now on it’s sleepovers I believe.
But the Bean..she is 9. How did that happen. I swear she was just my little round headed baby we were holding up to the webcam at a week old. But that is a rumination for another day. I get a bit choked up when I think about how fast she is growing up. And yes how there isn’t another baby for us. I’m keeping my head low around all the baby and pregnancy posts right now. No offense people but that’s how that goes for me.
I have ended up in a great group of women online. Much hilarity and good and bad behavior. Much support and goodness. Also one particular person that I had a rough beginning with, but have come to care about and admire muchly—it’s just good. I guess I’m just a big enough geek that yeah most of my socializing is online.
But not all…am in talks with a couple of meatspace friends to see about starting up a *family friendly* Buddhist group. Adults can meditate and discuss and we’ll have a kids group that reads Buddhist stories and talks about them, does a short meditation. The adults will take turns working with the kids so that all of us get a chance to practice as well as be with the kids. I’m really excited about this. The Dalai Lama was here just last week and I’m really inspired to work on this now. I’m ready to go beyond reading and my ‘meditation when frenzied” practice /wry.
The Dalai Lama was wonderful. J and I both had tears in our eyes. He was here, in Fayetteville..how amazing.
I miss San Francisco a lot lately. I need to visit soon, before everyone there forgets me entirely. It’s been so long, way too long.
It’s also time for the Muskogee Faire. Hopefully we won’t be rained out of that the entire month of may. We’ve had enough flooding—yes our basement did. I also felt my car lifted up by floodwater when I was trying to get home one day when it had been pouring for the 5th straight day—that was scary. And then she said “climate change, oh now, how could that be happening?” Sheesh. (Please make sure your sarcasm detectors are turned on).
Well then, there you go, that’s some of it.
There’s something waiting for me around the corner, I can feel it—I’m just not sure what it is going to look like.