I know better now

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Categories: Daily blather

“Perfect World”

Oh, London Moon, help me stumble home
Let me lose myself along the way
I’ve got nothing left, it’s kind of wonderful
Cause there’s nothing they can take away… away

The open doors left me wanting more
Never thought they’d close them all the way
The ordinary life they want for you
Is it too much to have to bear

But it’s another way to win a useless fight
You’ve been lying so long, don’t know when you’re faking
See the water on the rise
Just another day into a useless night
I’ve been pushing so hard now my hands are shaking
See the water on the rise

But I’ve been turned around
I was upside down
I thought love would always find a way
But I know better now
Got it figured out
It’s a perfect world all the same

But I’ve been turned around
I was upside down
I thought love would always find a way
But I know better now
Got it figured out
It’s a perfect world all the same

I was hoping for
An easy rambling life
Till the notion came to my mind

We look for exit signs
But we can’t be changed
Into nothing overnight

Though we know it’s over
It keeps exploding
Every morning when we rise


Your cycle continues, mine does not.

Categories: Daily blather

What you don’t know?difficult
There is *so* much you don’t know.

It is all about the money. Every bit of this is about your money.

How sad. How…ugly.
And now you have engineered a repeat of what happened those many years ago,
when you stood at that woman’s grave.

It’s shocking.

I wonder what the rest of your people would have to say about this?


That glib and oily art

Categories: Age, Angst, Daily blather, family, Tags: , ,

King of France. This is most strange,
That she that even but now was your best object,
The argument of your praise, balm of your age,
Most best, most dearest, should in this trice of time {235}

Commit a thing so monstrous to dismantle
So many folds of favour. Sure her offence
Must be of such unnatural degree
That monsters it, or your fore-vouch’d affection
Fall’n into taint; which to believe of her 240
Must be a faith that reason without miracle
Should never plant in me.

Cordelia. I yet beseech your Majesty,
If for I want that glib and oily art
To speak and purpose not, since what I well intend, {245}
I’ll do’t before I speak- that you make known
It is no vicious blot, murther, or foulness,
No unchaste action or dishonoured step,
That hath depriv’d me of your grace and favour;
But even for want of that for which I am richer- 250
A still-soliciting eye, and such a tongue
As I am glad I have not, though not to have it
Hath lost me in your liking.


Better thou
Hadst not been born than not t’ have pleas’d me better. {255}

“My eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest”
~~Youth by Daughter

And today she finally broke it into so many pieces it can’t be put back together again.




I’m afraid the experiment was a failure

Categories: Blogging Challenges, Daily blather, Tags:

I don’t think I’ll catch up now. There was too much going on this month. A big birthday for our kiddo, J and I changing around everything we eat, me discovering once and for all I really do have a vicious problem with gluten/wheat , going ass over teakettle down the stairs thanks to one of the feline members of our family, sending a couple of new website designs live  and finally making a very big daily change to my life.  I love the idea of the A to Z Challenge but I just wasn’t up to it this year.


From Flickr Creative Commons :Celestine Chua

Maybe next year. Or maybe I’ll suddenly get the energy and update everything at once this weekend, who knows? I just know what I’m doing for the next 24 hours at this point.




Kismet, or playing chess with two Queens

Categories: Blogging Challenges, Tags:

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out til too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along.
Terry Pratchett

The Seventh Seal

The Seventh Seal

Sometimes it feels that way. Even when it’s good. But then you don’t mind it so much.

Some things are “truly meant to be” as Sally and Jack sang to each other.  I teased my husband on an email list (the SF Goth List– oh so long ago, wow something is still there!). Then a year later, after IMing with him and each of us talking the other through some HORRID relationships…he moved to SF. He walked in the door and I thought “I’m going to marry him.” That scared me so badly I ran back in my room because I never intended on getting married again. 1 1/2 years later I was. And it’s been 13 years, 1 Child and many cats. And  it was all just odd and unexplainable.

And recently I left a really bad situation. Just insanely bad from top to bottom. Chock full of crazy, angry and weird. It had gotten so bad that I was going to do something I never did–leave without having something else lined up. And I did. And 5 hours later I had something else that has been eye opening. And it has lead to even more amazing things. And I love doing so much I literally laugh out loud on my way in, even on Monday morning.

And once, I gave something away on Freecycle to someone who would later become an important friend in my life–in our family’s life. And years after meeting and getting to know her a bit, we found out she ran the Anime Festival our daughter was interested in. And then we volunteered to help. Which improved the skills I had to such a degree that I was able to parlay that into many jobs!

Some might say it is being in the right place at the right time—but I think there’s a bit of magic involved.

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