a moment
on the stairs
when I saw your eyes
and your formality
concealing well
your curiosity
I knew.
And knowing
I understand how
banal
that moment is in
words, but I try
to capture and
hold here
what I carry
each day with me
through this world
I am so ill suited for.
I often wondered
what you were
behind your moments,
wistful and biting
and now
I have each day
to learn.
The words are small
toward the feeling
of knowing but
I'll force them
to show you
the heart they
caused to dream again.
I'd thought it dead
crushed by too many
too many
desires and
needs
to not, not ever
forget the truth
of laughter and
the refusal to
leave it behind.
There were a few
almosts
and close they were,
so close I thought
this must be all
all that there is,
all that there can be.
Finally,
what I dreamed of that night
one hundred years ago,
that boy, that man
to throw rocks
at my window and promise me
the night,
promise me
my face in his hands,
his laughter on my lips,
promise me
all the promises
I held against him
finally,
he never wanted
to leave.
we'll not grow up
together you and I
we'll raise our children
to not grow up
with us
and believe in all
the tales of things unseen
we'll have those songs
in our eyes and
always
in the next breath.
We'll have that laughter
and the refusal
to leave it behind.
for James, finally, my true love